my hobbies include sleeping and feeling like i’ve never slept
- me half-way through shaving one leg: i dont want to do this anymore
a sex position called the gatsby where you stare longingly at your partner from a distance and scream old sport when you climax
so every year after the juniors finish reading The Great Gatsby my high school english teacher throws a Gatsby party at his huge house and everyone shows up in period clothing and Charlestons to 20s music and my english teacher just wears a suit and stands off to the side staring wistfully out the window the entire night
you guys think I’m joking??
I wish my junior year lit teacher had done this because he is totally the type who would
overhearing a conversation between strangers in which they’re saying something completely wrong and you really feel like correcting them